Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Blog 4

As i Look up in the sky there is a weird opalescence color. It was also hot i think i am seeing things. This morning i thought i saw a pool of water. I guess it was a mirage. Then i heard a slight whimper. I went into the bushes and found a littlun. He was happy because he had seen a ship and he pointed to the sea. I was delighted because there was a ship. But it was going right past our island. I looked up the hill and the fire was out. This was preposterous! Then comes jack and his hunters. i looked at him incredulously. Whats wrong with you! He did not know what to say so he started to talk about the hunt he just had done in irrelevence. His hunters Cheered and ran around their kill. They jumped and waved their spears in gyration. "A bout came by!" I said. "Ummm oops". "We needed meat so we can eat, or else we would starve". said jack. Well that was our ticket out of here! , Then i heared a loud of shrill sound. It made me jump. The pig was still alive and had just been killed by one of the hunters. Then we started to argue again. He gave me a very malevolent look that made me shiver all over. We arent ever going to be rescued anyways we are here for life. I think he had no implication of being rescued.

1 comment:

Mr. Shaddox said...

Langston,

Great implementation of the vocabulary. However, your journal is a bit brief. I think you could add a lot more descriptive details to really paint a picture in the reader's mind.

REVISION:
Add 5-10 more sentences that "show" the reader what is happening in your journal.